MARCH IS HERE!!! One of my girlfriends text me this morning and was like, “Can you believe you’re having a baby THIS MONTH?!?!” Truly it has been a long road, but at the same time, I can’t believe that in less than 3 weeks, we will finally get to meet this sweet baby girl that has been our prayer for so long!
This post was never intended to be a “blog post” per say; this is actually pulled straight from my journal this morning. But my hope and prayer is that maybe some of these words and calls to action might resonate with your heart today as well.
As I have spent the last few months thinking about this little life inside of me, I can’t help but wonder a few things:
- What will she look like? Blonde or brunette? Short or tall?
- What will her personality be like? Loud or quiet? Introvert or extrovert?
- Is she going to think I’m cool or totally hate me (especially in her teen years haha)?
- Will we be similar or completely opposite?
- Will she be a mama’s girl or daddy’s girl? (Even though I know deep down she will definitely be a daddy’s girl…)
And while all of these are so fun to daydream about, I want to make sure that once she is here, my priority is focusing on the BIG PICTURE THINGS. Especially those that I can control:
- Did she feel loved, valued, and cared for today?
- Did she see mommy and daddy prioritizing spending time with the Lord in prayer or prioritizing their own selfish desires?
- Did she witness a healthy, loving, God-centered marriage being modeled today or one full of judgement, bitterness, and selfish pride?
- Did she see a mommy and daddy who prioritized the needs of others around them (even strangers), or two people who were so wrapped up in themselves that they totally disregarded the needs of others?
- Did she see a parent who is slow to anger and abounding in love, or one who is selfish, irrational and lacks compassion?
- Did she see what it looks like to have healthy friendships that are life-giving and admonishing?
- Did she see a woman who only speaks highly of others or one who engages in solicitous gossip, even about those whom she claims to love?
- Did she see a woman who graciously submits to her husband’s authority and actively looks for ways to be his helper, or did she see a woman who bitterly rejects her husband’s leadership and puts her own interests first?
- Did she see a man who leads his family well, works hard to provide for them, and put his wife’s needs and desires before his own, or did she see a man who cowardly ignores his duties and would prefer to be “absent and unengaged” after a long day?
All of these are questions that I hope Parker and I are asking ourselves on a daily basis and truly holding each other accountable to. Raising a child in the way of the Lord is by far the loftiest calling and weightiest role that we have ever taken on.
I know that more days than not, I am going to completely fail in one (if not all) of these areas. But my prayer is that the Lord would begin using this parenting process to refine me- to make me less selfish, to make me see other’s needs more clearly, to make me more empathetic and less judgmental, and to make me love Him more today than I did the day before.
I know this is going to be both the sweetest season and the most challenging season of life all mixed into one. I know that God is going to use Emmy to humble me in ways that I never imagined possible. I know there will be days where I long for my former love of being able to selfishly indulge in WHATEVER I WANT, WHENEVER I WANT. But I pray that in those moments, the Holy Spirit would redirect my heart, and that I never take the privilege of motherhood for granted.
I’m so thankful for all of you mamas out there who are living out your calling so fervently and are setting such good examples of what it means to be a strong, Christian parent. I hope that we can all continue to love, encourage, and hold each other accountable because it definitely TAKES A VILLAGE!
Photography: Lauren Barger Photography