So I’m not going to spend the entire The Bachelor Week Three post talking about Corinne’s sexuality because I’ve did that last week. Yes, she tried to play Sexy Sherlock and have Nick lick whip cream off of her cleavage. So unoriginal. But I am going to give her mad props for skipping the rose ceremony and going to bed early. I’m pretty sure that’s the only similarity between the two of us thus far, but an admirable one at that. Corinne of all people should know that nothing good happens after midnight 😉
But let’s get to the best part- the group date. Typically when the group date card gets read, you can just see the pains of defeat in each girl’s eyes (especially when their name is followed by Corinne’s). But then the BACKSTREET BOYS walked in, and all of a sudden everyone was like, Nick who?! (Nick Viall- obviously. We all care about Nick Carter.) ABC, way to make group dates great again.
Also on the group date, the girls’ minds are blown when they learn that 24 year old Corrine has a nanny, whose responsibilities include (but I’m positive are not limited to): making her bed everyday, cutting up her vegetable slices for her lunch, and basically being her bitch. But ya’ll, like Corinne said, Raquel (sp?) finds JOY in doing these tasks, and Corinne wouldn’t dare take away another woman’s joy. But I think if all of us were being honest with ourselves, having a nanny doesn’t sound half bad. I mean, I’d probably eat a lot healthier if I had someone to slice up my cucumbers for me everyday…
But let’s talk about someone other than Corinne for a change. There was a new kid on The Bachelor Week 3 block – Vanessa . Full disclosure: Once the BSB left the screen, I sort of got side-tracked by Instagram, my puppies, my wine… Basically their one-on-one didn’t captivate me as much as staring at my sleeping doggies. (But that’s not offensive because my dogs are pretty hard to compete with.) But here’s what I do know. She did puke her guts out on their first date (and not as a result of the open bar), and Nick cried. So I guess he does have a soul…
And then the pool party happened. The Spark Notes version: Corinne jumps up and down in a bouncy house. Nick straddles Corinne in the bouncy house. And Vanessa calls Nick out for disrespecting himself on national television. DROP THE MIC.
I’m calling it now- ABC is pulling an “Andi Dorfman” and completely grooming Vanessa to be the Bachelorette. She’s beautiful, intelligent, well-spoken, a teacher (who doesn’t love a teacher?), AND seems to be more inclined to take the moral high road than most contestants we’ve seen in the past years. I feel like The Bachelor has gotten really raunchy, and the show needs to rebrand itself. Leave the skanky stuff for Bachelor in Paradise.
Planning on hosting a Bachelor Party with your girls? I’ve included some cute decor that would be perfect for a viewing party!